Consider this:

Screen Almighty (Part Two):

In Which I Download A New App and Holy Hell Ensues

A friend and I were out for dinner last week and, as almost always happens when I get together with another mom, the conversation turns to our mounting frustration with kids on screens. We agree that Pokemon Go has not assuaged our concerns about excessive screen time, even if our kids are now breathing fresh air as they stare blindly into their phones. Equally unreassuring: the all-new “Gotta Catch ‘Em All!” week-long summer camp promising 10-14 year olds “instruction on how to play the game safely, friendship, swimming, and most importantly: catching them all!”

My friend asks if I know about an app called Our Pact. “I’ve been using it all summer,” she tells me. “It’s made a huge difference in our family. Fewer fights. Less time on screen. And no more waking up a dawn to check Snapchat or watch YouTube.”

As soon as I get home, I investigate Our Pact. The company’s stated mission is “to empower parents to guide their children through the balanced use of technology.” I consider the potentially life-changing impact of those sweet, beautiful, last four words – balanced use of technology! – and keep reading.

Turns out Our Pact lets parents remotely control the apps on their kids’ mobile device by putting them (the apps, not the kids, sadly) on a set viewing schedule. Say I want all apps (anything that didn’t come with the phone, that is) turned off during the week from 9:30 p.m. until 7:30 a.m. the next day. Done. Want a schedule just for the weekend? I can choose different days with different windows of blocked or accessible time.

For example, pretend I want instant, immediate control over a phone. Imagine, if you will, a short person in your midst is not turning off said device despite your repeated requests to do so. All I need to do is tap the “block” button on my phone and the apps disappear until I feel like granting access again. (By the way, even when the apps are blocked, calling and texting still works. And all preloaded features still function, too. So if your kids have the sudden urge to create a Keynote slide presentation or design a flyer in Pages, they can!)

Holy crap.

How did I not know about the world’s most revolutionary app?

In no time flat, I’ve followed the easy, step-by-step directions to upload Our Pact to my phone and then pair it with my kids’ phones. I create a schedule that blocks access to apps from 9:00 that night until 8:00 the next morning. And then, truth be told, I completely forget about the whole thing.

At exactly 9:01 p.m., I remember. That’s when we’re all in the living room watching episodes of Arrested Development on a DVD from the library. By the way, I am pleased to have found a TV series we all enjoy because, in this day and age, watching the same show on the same screen at the same time counts as Q.F.T. or Quality Family Time (a first cousin of Forced Family Fun). Admittedly, my kids enhance Q.F.T. by simultaneously checking their own tiny screens. Which is why, in the middle of watching Jason Bateman’s impeccable deadpan delivery as the only sane member of an utterly dysfunctional family, Son One lets out a shriek.

“My phone is dead!” he wails in a voice so filled with pain and anguish I wonder if he is momentarily confusing “phone” with “dog” or “cat” or “mother.”

“Oh, right!” I say, suddenly remembering Our Pact. “I’m experimenting with a new app. I completely forgot about it. Don’t worry,” I add, noting that his face has turned a rather sickly shade of grey, “it just looks dead. It will be fine in the morning.”

What follows is bedlam. Son One is furious, convinced I’ve permanently (and, perhaps, deliberately) destroyed his beloved device. When Son Two discovers his apps have vanished like true believers in the midst of the Rapture, he is equally outraged. In fact, despite all my reassurances that their world/iPhone is not ending/dead, what follows is our own adorable little Armageddon. And in this scenario, the force of evil is very, very obvious.

Me.

Okay, I’ll admit it wasn’t great planning for me to shut off access to their apps without a word of warning. I get that the surprise was unpleasant, to say the least. But come on. We’re talking about not having fully functioning phones during the hours my kids are asleep. At a certain point, their livid indignation is a little much.

And that’s why I refuse to tell them what time the apps will be restored.

(One undisclosed aspect of Our Pact: Power. Raw, unadulterated power. Boy, is it sweet.)

The next morning, chaos continues. Neither of my kids has slept. They lodge protests, make threats, even shed a few tears. At 8:01, when the apps reappear exactly on schedule, calm is … not restored. That’s when I discover I definitely should have downloaded the “Prestige” feature recommended by the good people at Our Pact. Prestige is the handy dandy program that keeps all apps organized just they way your kids intended, rather than shove them into a default position on the screen. Readers, take note: download Prestige.

Now that Prestige is locked and loaded, I can tell you that I am thrilled with Our Pact. I’ve created schedules for summer weekdays (varying the times based on camp and other commitments), summer weekends and vacations. I’ll create new schedules once school starts up later this month. Although my boys would definitely prefer I delete this “awful,” “stupid,” “useless” app altogether, they are, reluctantly, getting used to it. After talking with them, I’ve made compromises about the schedules to try to keep everyone (relatively) happy. And I’ve had to punitively block access to apps just once.

I’d be exaggerating to say Our Pact has brought lasting peace and tranquility to our device-devoted kingdom. But I do rest a little easier knowing that for a few predetermined hours every day, without nagging, fighting, threatening or even debating, I’ve found a way to render the Almighty Screen essentially impotent.

The almighty mobile screen, that is. Our Pact, if you’re reading this, What’s the release date for a program that lets me control my kids’ desktop? I’m ready when you are.

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Cook this:

Artichoke Parmesan Dip

This week’s recipe is a rich, decadent dip that just oozes with cheesy goodness. Let’s be clear: There’s nothing low-fat about this dish. That being said, the last time I brought it to a gathering, people gobbled it up as an appetizer with flatbread crackers. Later on, the savory-toothed amongst us skipped the cookies and cake and devoured the last few bites for dessert.

Artichoke Parmesan Dip

¾ cup mayonnaise

1 cup grated Parmesan cheese

2 15oz cans of artichoke hearts

Pinch of garlic powder

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit and pull out your one-quart baking dish.

Chop the artichoke hearts into bite-size chunks, and then mix all the ingredients together with a rubber spatula. I usually mix everything right in the baking dish, but you can transfer the ingredients from a mixing bowl if you prefer.

Cover the dish with aluminum foil and bake 30 minutes or until bubbly. For a slightly browned top, remove the foil and bake for another five minutes or so, checking frequently so you don’t overcook.

Serve with crackers or thinly sliced French bread.

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Read this:

Symphony for the City of the Dead by M.T. Anderson

(National Book Award Longlist, 2017)

Pop quiz: Who noticed Newsy!’s recent requests for guest book reviewers and favorite recipe providers? Not you, you say? Well, my extremely awesome 16-year-old first cousin once removed (in other words, my cousin’s daughter), Victoria, not only noticed, she promptly sent me two book reviews! This week, I am tickled pink to introduce this self-professed (and extremely self possessed) bibliophile from Rutland, Vermont. Without further ado, I present to you Victoria’s first (but not last!) book review for Newsy!.

Usually I’m not big on nonfiction, but for Symphony, I’ll make an exception. This book takes you on a journey through the toughest times the city of Leningrad, now St. Petersburg, has faced. Starting with the rise of communism in Russia, then focusing on Stalin’s psychotic rule and Hitler’s World War II invasion of Russia and siege of Leningrad, the book brings to light a pretty significant chunk of history — one that many Americans know very little about. Anderson weaves the story around the life of famous wartime composer Dmitri Shostakovich, who lived through all the horrors, and around his music, which moved the entire Western world. I found parts of Symphony nearly impossible to process as true events because they feel too dystopian, too terrifying to comprehend, but Anderson contrasts them with incredible shows of humanity and strength. I think these extreme ups and downs are what make the book so moving and left me contemplating the whole story for quite some time.