Consider this:

Get Back In Whack

A good friend of mine is out of alignment. It’s not a spinal issue. If she had a chiropractic problem, she’d make an appointment and get it fixed. My pal’s misalignment is more complicated – and, potentially, more debilitating. Seems she’s currently out of spiritual alignment. Creative alignment. Professional, physical and emotional alignment, too.

The girl is out of whack.

In the past few weeks, she’s been chewed out by a colleague for (uncharacteristically) making a tone-deaf comment on a conference call. She’s attended a business meeting with red, puffy eyes after weeping uncontrollably during her commute. She’s repeatedly forgotten to pick her kids up at school and has regularly been gorging late-night on cookies. She’s skipped out on daily exercise to cram in a few extra minutes of work time instead, and she hasn’t had a solid night’s sleep in weeks.

No wonder she feels like crap.

Can you relate? I sure can. I’ve been out of alignment countless times, usually because I’ve spent my dreamtime agonizing over a decision or pondering a dilemma rather than sleeping. (Confession: my most recent insomnia was due to a lethal combination of Indian food and the presidential debate. Do not try this at home.) Of course, this is the perfect set-up for prolonged mental, physical and emotional misalignment. I end up too tired to drag myself to the gym, which could help clear my fogged-in head. I’m too tired to resist the rush of caffeine and sugar, which later leaves me shaking. And I’m way too tired to think straight about whatever issue created this vicious cycle in the first place.

Here’s the burning question. We all know how darn good it feels when our mind, body, work and creative juices are happily aligned. When all systems are firing in perfect synchronicity, the feeling is more than just sweet. It’s energizing, exhilarating and exciting. When we’re in that delicious zone, we’re calm, productive and deeply focused. Given this incredible upside, why is it so easy to drift off course? Why does it take so little for a beautifully smooth ride to suddenly become rough, bumpy and pocked with potholes?

Here’s a recent example of my own alignment derailment. A while back, I was meditating daily. I loved my quiet, focused time, and it really was helping me shift my perspective on certain challenging situations. But at some point, I just stopped doing it. Sure, I was traveling. Yes, my schedule was shifting into high gear. And yeah, I was on deadline overdrive. I had explanations – excuses – to spare. The bottom line is, I quit doing something that simply required parking my posterior for ten minutes a day. I ditched a practice that made me feel calmer, happier and better able to handle what was piled on my plate.

Why? Well, like anything that leads to holistic alignment, daily meditation takes discipline. Discipline demands commitment. Commitment calls for determination. Determination requires will power. Will power requires … you get the picture. Even when the payoff is tremendous – professional productivity! Personal creativity! Emotional well-being! – it’s not always enough.

Intellectually, I know it feels awesome to get to the gym when it opens so I can start my workday early, with tired muscles and a clear mind. I know I feel better when I have a nutritious lunch and skip afternoon caffeine. I’m happier when I read in bed instead of watching trashy TV. But guess what else is true? I hate getting up in the dark. I love chocolate chip cookies. And sometimes, all I want to do is binge watch The Real Housewives of New York.

Maybe hard-edged determination and unwavering will power isn’t the key to sustained (and sustainable) alignment after all. I’m certain the unrelenting guilt we, especially us gals, inflict upon ourselves if we fail to live up to our own high standards doesn’t help one whit. I’m thinking the answer is something a little softer. Kinder. Gentler. A little blurrier around the edges. I guess I’d just call it finding balance.

Ideally, I’ll drag myself out of bed in the dark so I can kick-start my day as soon as my kids are out the door. But if I’ve been up all night worrying, for example, about the future of our nation, I’m going to forgive myself for skipping the gym and hitting snooze a few extra times the next morning. If I’m craving cookies and chips instead of a nutritious, protein-packed lunch, heck, I’ll load up on sugar and salt and ditch the Recommended Dietary Allowance of guilt. Later on, I might head to bed early to read the latest intellectually stimulating Man Booker Prize winner. Or maybe I’ll watch an episode or two of RHONY instead.

With a little bit of luck – spicy food and upcoming presidential debates not withstanding – I’ll regain my balance. I’m confident my friend will, too.

One day, I’m sure, we’ll both be back in whack.

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Cook this:

Shrimp Paulista

I came across this recipe in Eating Well magazine many years ago, and it’s been one of my dinner party staples ever since. Shrimp Paulista is a Brazilian delight (residents of Sao Paulo call themselves Paulistas), and it’s quick and easy to make. It’s zesty, citrusy and, if you want, a little spicy, too. That’s a winning combination in my book.

Shrimp Paulista

2 limes, juiced

4 cloves garlic, minced

¼ tsp salt

¼ cup cilantro

1/4 tsp crushed red pepper flakes (optional)

1 lb shrimp, peeled and deveined

1/2 cup olive oil
In a non-reactive bowl, mix together all ingredients except olive oil and then toss in the shrimp. Marinate in the fridge for 30 minutes (the shrimp may get tough if you marinate for much longer).

Heat a skillet to medium-high heat and add olive oil. Pour the shrimp and marinade into the pan and sauté until shrimp are cooked through and no longer pink. If you want, reserve any excess marinade for pouring over rice or couscous. Note: I love having extra sauce, so I often double the marinade so I’ll have plenty for passing around the table.

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Read this:

The Girl With The Lower Back Tattoo by Amy Schumer

I’ve seen Amy Schumer’s movie, Trainwreck, three times, and I laugh just as hard each time I watch it. I was excited to read Schumer’s collection of essays, assuming they’d be as entertaining as her movie. Many of them are – in fact, every chapter is razor-sharp, funny and a little (or a lot) raunchy. That wasn’t surprising. What was surprising is how many of these essays were also vulnerable, poignant and even raw. For example, Schumer writes frankly about a being in a physically abusive relationship and running – literally – for her life. She writes about losing her virginity in a deeply disturbing way that left her feeling blindsided, hurt and completely undermined. She grapples with the word “rape,” wondering (as too women have wondered) if it’s really rape when your steady boyfriend is involved. (Schumer mentions “grape” or “grey-area rape.”) Other not-so-funny issues Schumer explores include gun control, gender stereotypes and a fractious relationship with her mom.

But The Girl With The Lower Back Tattoo is in no way a downer. Amy Schumer tackles some tough topics, but there are plenty of lighthearted ones, too. Three essays are devoted to her analyzing her own past journal entries. Another is an open letter to her vagina. She includes lists, too, such as “Things That Make Me Happy” and “Times It’s Okay For A Man Not To Make A Woman Come During Sex.” And, of course, she explains how she ended up with a huge, clichéd, tribal-inspired tattoo on her lower back that healed horribly.

“To this day,” (she writes) “it’s still raised like a Mad Max war boy’s head scar. So now, fifteen years later, I’m thirty-five, and any time I’m in a bathing suit people immediately know in their hearts that I’m trash. Any time I take my clothes off for the first time in front of a man and he sees it, he also knows in his heart that I’m trash and that I make poor, poor decisions …”

I won’t argue with Amy Schumer’s assessment of her body art, but I’ll say this: I think it’s a very good decision to pick up her new book.